


I'm looking forward to this life I live

by zeroselfcontrol



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, M/M, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, SKAM Season 3, wtfock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:48:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21547096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeroselfcontrol/pseuds/zeroselfcontrol
Summary: "Hey, Senne. How are you doing?"-or the way this clip (sunday, 10:51, november 24) could have turned out.
Relationships: Robbe IJzermans & Senne De Smet, Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 11
Kudos: 156





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Somehow I'm missing Senne x Robbe interaction, so I decided to write a few paragraphs based on the clip with Robbe, Senne and Milan. I think Robbe and Senne could have such an amazing friendship! But of course I love Milan with all my heart. He's what Robbe needs and deserves. Let me know if you agree on Robbe and Senne:)

Again Robbe was just looking at a picture of the mural Sander painted for him, when he heard someone opening a door down the hall. He stood up and moved to his own door as quickly as possible, hoping it was Senne causing the noise. Robbe had to regain his breathing for a moment because even though he wanted it to be Senne in the hallway he felt nervous as fuck. After Jens reacted the way he did Robbe was feeling more secure, more normal. But he wanted to be his true self around everyone, especially in his own home. So he decided to tell Senne next. Despite them not being that close, Robbe felt safe and strangely loved when he was around Senne. 'Now or never', Robbe whispered to himself before finally opening the door.

"Hey, Senne. How are you doing?"

Senne, who had his hood up and who was just about to leave, turned around to look at his flatmate. A small smile adorned his lips which quickly fell into a frown when he noticed the strained expression on Robbe's face. "I'm alright. What about you though?"

Robbe helplessly shrugged his shoulders. "I've been better. Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Not necessarily, why?", Senne responded.

"Could you come in just for a second?"

Senne shrugged off his backpack and followed Robbe into his room. "Sure, what is it?"

Robbe didn't know how to feel. It even was hard to swallow his own spit, that's how nervous he was. Fidgeting with his fingers he sat down on his mattress, waiting for Senne to do the same, who quickly got the hint and sat down next to him. 

After a few minutes Robbe still hasn't said anything, he just couldn't seem to open his mouth. Somehow it was even worse than when he came out to Jens. Maybe because Senne lived with him, or maybe he was afraid because Senne seemed to be such an alpha male? No, that couldn't be it, he knew Senne better than most people and he clearly wasn't the cold, arrogant prick people said he was. Senne was more like a golden retriever. 

"Is it about the fight?", Senne started. "Because the offer still stands. I'm gonna kick ass if you want me to. Those fucking elitist guys are full of shit, I hate them!"

"No, no it's not", Robbe was quick to answer. "Or well, somehow it is. But it's different than what you think?"

"Okay? Well, I'm listening", Senne replied, smiling carefully. Then he took Robbe's hand in his, squeezing tightly, before letting it go.

"I lied. I have no idea who beat me up", Robbe breathed. "But I guess it weren't those guys you talked about."

Senne's eyebrows furrowed in thought. He tried to join the dots but apparently he couldn't. "Why would you lie about that? Don't you know I'd help you no matter what? There doesn't have to be something in it for me! I don't need to benefit from supporting you! I'd do literally anything for you, really."

That made Robbe laugh sarcastically. "You might want to take back that promise after what I'm about to tell you."

In an exhausted motion Senne put his hands over his face, sighing loudly. "I don't believe so. Just try me, will you?"

Robbe did his best avoiding Senne's eyes, but he failed. They were so honest and kind. With a deep breath Robbe closed his eyes and prepared for his confession. Without opening them he spoke the words. "Senne, I'm gay."

While still not being able to see anything at all, Robbe could hear his own breathing even louder. He felt a tear slipping and his heart seemed to beat its way out of his chest. 

The next thing he noticed was warmth enveloping him. Senne had put both his arms around Robbe and pressed him to his chest. Doing nothing but gripping his shoulders in a tight embrace, Senne anchored him. Robbe felt so relieved that he started sobbing. Embarassed he burried his face in Senne's neck and wound his own arms around the body of the other boy. Just breathing in the scent that was so Senne he savoured this moment.

"Hey, it's alright", Senne spoke after a while. "Are you okay?"

Robbe lifted his head from Senne's shoulder nodding softly. A small smile played on Senne's lips, before using his thumb to wipe the tear tracks under Robbe's eyes. 

"I love you. I love you, no matter who you like or don't like, okay? And I'm going to support you as much as you're going to let me. You're my favourite flatmate after all."

"Really?", Robbe said though his big watery grin. "Am I an even better flatmate than Zoe?"

"The best!", Senne smiled back. "And thank you for telling me", he added more quietly.

Robbe shrugged, still smiling. "I wanted to tell you so bad. But I was afraid. I didn't want to lose you as a friend. Even though we've never really hung out I..."

"I get it", Senne tried. "Or at least I think I do. There's so much I want to tell too, but when the moment comes I chicken out. I'm really proud of you, Robbe."

"Thank you."

"Come here again!", Senne said before pulling Robbe into another hug, carefully petting his hair. After a few moments even Senne nuzzled his nose into the nape of Robbe's neck. Robbe felt his eyes starting to water again, but this time out of pure fondness. Coming out to Milan and Jens was one thing, but towards Senne he felt a different kind of closeness. 

When they broke apart, Senne clapped into his hands. "I was about to go get some groceries, we've got nothing but those awful tofu sticks. You wanna come?"

"Sure, why not."

"We can grab a few beers and some snacks as well, maybe watch a movie later? Zoe is out till tomorrow anyway. And Milan went to his new almost-boyfriend", Senne suggested while grabbing his backpack again.

"Sounds like a plan", Robbe grinned. "I want to watch the Lion King though!"

"Really?", Senne laughed loudly, grabbed his keys from the shelf and added in a teasing tone "I'm gonna cry, just so you know."

Robbe just smiled to himself. How did he get so lucky?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbe and Senne talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still needed more Senne/Robbe interaction, so here we are:) happy reading!

A few hours later, after Senne grumpily did the laundry (per Zoe’s request), both guys found themselves in the kitchen. Instead of eating a bunch of unhealthy snacks and inevitably getting even more hungry, Robbe took it upon himself to cook a huge pot of chili sin carne. It was the only dish he nailed every time, so it felt good to be distracted with something he could and enjoyed doing. 

“Smells good”, Senne sniffed while opening the fridge to get out two of the beers he put there earlier. 

“It should be ready in a few minutes. I just don’t like it when the vegetables are crunchy still”, Robbe spoke and underlined his statement with wrinkling his nose.   
“Okay then. I’m gonna set up the film. Where do you want to watch? My room or yours?”, Senne asked sincerely. Robbe on the contrary started snickering before breaking out in a huge laughing fit.

“That, my friend, sounded a tiny bit suggestive”, he explained through his bubbling laughter. 

“Oh fuck off, Robbe!”, Senne snorted but couldn’t help the smile creeping on his lips. “So?”

“What about the living room? That’s why we have that room, right?”

“The TV in there doesn’t have a DVD slot as far as I remember… So, I guess we have to watch it on a laptop. And I hate that couch anyway!”

Robbe contemplated on the situation while stirring the chili. “Well then I choose your room. I spent too much time sulking in my own. That alright with you?”

“Sure”, Senne replied and made his way out of the kitchen.

Some time later Robbe joined him in his room, balancing two plates of chili, salt and sour cream on his hands. Thankfully Senne took the hint and reached for the plates in Robbe’s grip. 

“Let’s go.”

Nodding, Robbe got comfortable on Zoe and Senne’s bed while the other boy pressed play. With dozen cushions supporting his back, Robbe was able to eat, drink and watch the movie without having to change his position at all. Senne on the other hand had already eaten his food a few minutes into the movie and turned onto his stomach in order to watch properly. Even though their bodies didn’t touch, Robbe could feel the heat Senne radiated. It brought him back to the only carefree moments he’s had with Sander. That cool but sweet, sexy but dorky platin blond boy he couldn’t stop thinking about. How was he even supposed to not think about him? The mural still being too much to fully comprehend, Robbe replayed the scene of Sander and Britt kissing in his head. How could he be so dumb? As if anyone would ever dump their relationship to be with him out of all people. He was a loser, a coward with too much emotional baggage. At least his mum seemed to get better recently. That thought made his mouth twitch. 

“We’re not even near that scene yet”, Senne joked looking at Robbe. He had paused the movie, sensing Robbe’s mind wandering elsewhere. 

Senne tried to read Robbe’s face, who quickly averted his eyes. He just didn’t know if he wanted to share all of his problems with Senne yet. Even though it would be nice to have another opinion than the one from Jens who didn’t voice advice at all for that matter. And Milan, well, Robbe didn’t tell him about the mural yet. 

“Hey”, Senne spoke again. “Do you want to talk about anything? Or should I just leave you be?”

Robbe’s heart kind of started contracting with how much appreciation he felt for the boy next to him. Finally, Robbe was the centre of attention to someone, without constantly being nagged at. Finally, someone was interested enough to ask, but wasn’t too nosy to make him uncomfortable. Apparently Senne knew boundaries. And Robbe probably had to thank Zoe for that.

“I’m not sure if I want to”, Robbe replied honestly. “I’d have to start from the beginning and that’s going to take ages.”  
“Well, I’ve got time”, Senne replied with a small smile while getting up from his position to sit cross legged in front of Robbe instead. “And to be honest we can gladly postpone Mufasa’s death.”

Robbe had to laugh at that but it didn’t change the tension he felt building up in his chest. So instead of telling the truth he went for half-serious joking. Okay, it was more serious than anything else. “If we talk it’ll be my turn crying. And that I’ve done enough for today, haven’t I?”, Robbe mumbled bitterly.   
For a few moments there was nothing but silence. Robbe thought about how he effectively ruined the mood, while Senne contemplated on how to approach him. 

“Robbe-”, he started uncertainly. “I’m not the best at detecting stuff in the minds of others, but I believe that… if you feel sad, I think that talking is the only thing that can make it better? At least that’s how it is with me.” Senne paused for a moment before reassuringly telling Robbe, “I don’t want to pressure you though. Milan is the better ‘guru’ after all.”

Robbe didn’t move, he just let everything sink in. Then he sighed deeply and let himself fall back against the cushions. “You might be right.”

Without looking at Senne once, Robbe told him about everything that came to his mind. He talked about how he felt foreign and disgusting with all the gay jokes Moyo and Aaron have been throwing at him since ever. He explained to Senne how he had ruined Jana’s and Jens’ relationship because of his infatuation with his best friend. And he could feel that Senne was waiting for him to explain what really happened the night of the fight, so he did. And for the first time he didn’t cry thinking or talking about it. His voice was wavering, but it didn’t break.

“And that boy you were with? Is he your boyfriend?”

At that Robbe had to swallow the panic rising up in his throat. “It’s… complicated.”

Without beating around the bush, Robbe told Senne everything about Sander. It felt so good to finally being able to talk about his sorrows, about his pain. And never would he have thought that Senne would have been such a great listener. He didn’t interrupt, didn’t force him to continue when he was lost and searching for words. He just nodded at the right times and alternated between looking out of the window and watching Robbe closely. He didn’t touch him and Robbe was very thankful for that.

“So”, Senne started. By now he had shut his laptop close and was sitting, still cross-legged,in front of Robbe with his hand supporting his chin. “You’re telling me that this boy flirted with you, kissed you and whatnot… and you insulted him in the worst ways, when he was trying to reach out? But it was because of how you felt misunderstood and how you didn’t have the time to come to terms with who you are. I get that… but that’s heavy shit, man. I’m not blaming you, but how lonely and betrayed must this Sander guy have felt?

“And then you said sorry, he forgave you and you two were happy again. Or at least until those fucking bastards beat you up for… for being who you are?! I hate them so fucking much. Fucking assholes. 

“After that he left you in that ally, what I completely and utterly judge and disrespect him for… just to tell you he loves you? And then he makes out with his ex-girlfriend? What is wrong with him? I mean I would get if he had second thoughts about you, because of the names you called him… but either you love someone or you don’t and clearly he doesn’t love this girlfriend of his, I mean-“

“There’s more”, Robbe added quietly.

Senne just rose is eyebrows, urging him to go on.

So, Robbe told him about the mural, showed him even. He told him how confused he is, how he doesn’t know what to do.

“I need another beer for that”, Senne said bluntly.

With another beer to keep themselves busy, Senne paced the room like a caged lion. Robbe on the contrary still hadn’t moved from his position on the bed, staring at the ceiling. 

“Firstly”, Senne started, getting Robbe’s attention. “I think you two have the biggest communication problem. I mean I get it, you want to suck face every second you’re with him, but Robbe, you need to talk!”

“Really, that’s your advice?”, Robbe laughs in a tense way. To be honest he was hoping for something like a manual as in ‘how to get back with Sander Driesen without having to confront the past’, but deep down he did know that this was bullshit. It didn’t keep him from wanting an easy solution though. A solution which preferably didn’t imply him making the first move, or making a move at all.

“It is, Robbe. If you want more than a fling, if you want to maybe have a relationship with him, or anyone else for that matter, you need to talk to each other. And I get that he’s the one at fault and that he really sucks at talking too, but… that mural, that’s his invitation to be honest.”

Well, that really wasn’t what Robbe expected Senne to say. At all. Again, he felt the lump in his throat and the tears glistening in his eyes. He sat up and locked eyes with Senne. Since he didn’t trust his voice to function, he mouthed ‘thank you’ towards his flatmate and newfound friend. 

After a few more moments he got up and walked towards Senne, seeking comfort in his embrace. Robbe buried his face in the crook of Senne’s neck, enjoying the solace he found in that closeness. Senne moved one hand around Robbe’s torso while the other caressed his hair. 

“Hey Senne, have you seen-“

More startled than ever, Robbe jumped up, which got him a loud “ouch”, from Senne whose chin he had hit in the action. “Shit, sorry!”, he laughed breathlessly. 

“Uhh, should I come back later?”, Zoe asked confused, before smiling warily. 

“What’s going on?”, Milan’s voice echoed loudly through the hall, coming closer in a fast pace. “Is Robbe having a ‘guest’ over? Zoe, what did you see? I want to know all the juicy details – wait, what are you doing in your room? You didn’t catch Senne masturbating, did you? Oh.”, Milan stopped his monologue, appearing behind Zoe. “Hi Robbe.” 

Robbe and Senne, still in their motionless hug, looked like deer caught in the headlight. Robbe felt his face getting red, while Senne started laughing uncontrollably, finally detaching himself from Robbe. 

“That is not what I expected to come home to”, Milan snickered with a glint in his eyes. 

“Believe me, me neither”, Zoe laughed breathlessly. 

“We were just watching a movie”, Senne tried to explain when Zoe and Milan replied at the same time. 

“What film did you watch?”  
“Over there? With your laptop closed? I doubt it.”

Senne and Robbe looked at each other before breaking into another fit of laughter. Robbe couldn’t remember the last time he laughed like this.

“Well, I’ll let you two regain your composure and then we’ll meet in the kitchen. Come with me Zoe”, Milan ordered, smirking at the boys.

A few minutes later, they were all munching over Robbe’s chili, waiting for an explanation. 

“Why are you home anyway?”, Senne began the questioning.

“Jana’s mum came home as a surprise, so we decided to sleep over another- wait why am I answering you. The question is, what did you do?”

That felt like Robbe’s cue to intervene. “Milan, what about you?”

“Richard had dinner plans with his parents which he forgot about and I’m certainly not ready to meet the parents so-“

“I don’t care, Milan”, Zoe interrupted half joking half serious. “What’s going on?”

“Aren’t we allowed to be friends?”, Senne retorted like a pouting child.

“Sure, but-“

“No buts”, Robbe grinned. “We’re friends who took advantage of your absence.”

“Aha”, Zoe nodded, leaving the matter be. Instead she smiled at Milan and complimented Robbe’s chili. Apparently, Zoe was pleased with how the events had turned out. Milan on the other hand didn’t want to let go on which film the boys had been watching previously. 

“Okay okay, stop being so annoying. We started on the Lion King”, Senne admitted.

“Let’s continue then, shall we?”, Zoe exclaimed. Then she stood up, gave Senne a small kiss on the mouth and put the dishes in the sink. “I’m not sure if we all fit on our bed, but it’s worth a try. And since we’re all newfound besties, squeezing together a bit shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

While the boys started cleaning the table and doing the dishes, Robbe couldn’t do anything but sit and let everything sink in. Really, how did he get so lucky?

“Are you coming?”, he heard Milan’s voice who stood in the doorway, carrying all the snacks Robbe and Senne had bought that afternoon.  
Grinning to himself, Robbe got up and followed Milan into the hallway. 

‘That must be what home feels like’, he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I would really like to hear your thoughts on this Robbe/Senne dynamic! Also, let me know if I need to fix any mistakes:)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Spaceman by The Killers


End file.
